Yesterday I hit a huge milestone as a trans woman. I am so excited to tell y’all about it too. Well, actually I did that already all over my FB page but I am so happy that I had to go into a wee bit more detail. I have had tons of experience in my life since I transitioned a little over two years ago. One of my greatest concerns was being able to have a fighting chance at getting to have my own head of hair. I have experienced hair loss ever since my early twenties. By the time I had reached thirty, I was resigned to the fact that I was just going to have to learn to like my baldness. I stopped getting my hair cut at Super Cuts and just bought a good hair trimmer and used a #2 to keep the little hair that I had on my head trimmed like I was in the military or something. I remember one time in 2004 when I was attending a cousin’s wedding in Las Vegas when one of my other cousins told me that I needed to just shave my head bald because the hair up front was never going to come back. The thought of living my life without my own head of hair was an encroaching reality that I was not going to allow to become my reality.
So I continued to amass a collection of ball caps to cover up my embarrassment and shame. Would I ever be able to do anything about it? Would I get to the point where I could find a way out of the limitations of my biology? Well, all I can say is that my transition set me into a direction that would forever change my life. About a year into my transition I was able pay for a revolutionary hair transplant. A month after that, I had my tracheal shave surgery. So many changes and soooo fast. I was moving at warp speed in my transition right up until I took that spill over a New Mexico mountainside.
What Mark met on New Year’s Day 2015 was nothing at all like that pretty girl he had seen in pictures. I was bruised up and beaten senseless from head to toe yet he still reached over and kissed my balding head. He looked down into my heart and literally breathed life into me and I knew that I would finally be okay. As the months went by, I noticed that my hair was finally starting to grow in. Needless to say I was super excited at the prospect that I would one day be rid of living my life under hats, hairpieces and wigs.
I had killed my hair though, I mean it was limp and lifeless. I tried it all and self-colored my hair since 2013. I put all kinds of products in it to wake it up but I just did not know what I was doing. I was absolutely clueless about it, there is no better way to describe it. At one point, I had purchased a highlight kit at Target when I was living in Minnesota in the winter of 2014. Something went wrong (I probably left it on for way too long) and by the time Mark saw me for the first time, I had some kind of carrot top red hair. Those red highlights remained with me until they were lopped off along with most of my dead hair.
Which brings me to yesterday by the way! Mark had recently gone to the barbershop and gotten his hair and facial hair nicely trimmed. He looks like a million bucks too! OMG he is a gorgeous guy and I am attracted to him in so many multiple ways. My heart is constantly skipping a beat when I am with him. I don’t mean to slob up this post but I am in such love with this gift of the Universe (God) which I was made just for me.
Anyways, shall I continue? Yes? Ok, so here’s what happened… We were doing research online and looking up Groupon deals for a few days. I found one particular deal in an LGBT friendly area close to home. Mark has been so supportive and sweet to me, he knows how much this means to me. He even sends me articles on hairstyles and ideas ( I mean, he keeps me from finishing this blog right now by doing that same thing! Oh how much I love you Machito mia.) Anyways, I keep going back to how much I love my Mark.
So we ended up driving a few minutes to this salon to ask a few questions. We walked in and were greeted warmly by Tania at Hands2Hair Salon in Wilton Manors. She was so gracious and this wonderful Peruvian woman ended up answering all of our questions. She told us to come back in about an hour and she would be able to take me in. Needless to say, I was spilling over with excitement and joy because I was finally going to have my own hair colored, cut and styled. All the naysayers had to take a back seat on this day. I had been able to visualize my way to living out my dreams, having my own head of hair to call my own.
Tania was very respectful and kind and she asked me to go put on a gown so that I wouldn’t stain my blouse. I walked in got changed and came back out and she began her work to change my life. First off, she started with sectioning off my hair and brushing in two tones of color. Mark sat next to me the whole time and watched as she colored my hair. Tania’s first language is Spanish and so when she found out that we both spoke Spanish we just ended up talking about everything for the next two hours. She brought me over to the wash out the color and then added a really amazing keratin treatment which brought my hair back to life. After some massaging, she had me go back to the chair and she began to cut my hair.
I felt like a little girl getting her hair cut in a place for the older girls. Puberty for a trans woman is a crazy experience and this was an amazing new reality that I was being able to have as a part of my life. She explained to me that a bob style was going to have to be the best option for me because if how badly damaged my hair had become form the years of abuse. Mark wanted a certain hairstyle for me that I was not going to be able to pull off quite yet because I had to let me hair get fuller up top. I regretted having my tresses lopped off but I knew that it was probably for the best. Now I can concentrate on caring for my hair and not having to resort to tying it up in elastic hair bands or hidden under bang pieces or wigs. This is MY hair and I am so grateful to have the chance to have it so I have decided to just love it and care for it. Dreams do come true and if you can visualize it, you can achieve it.